Moving on can be exciting.
Moving on is portrayed as this happy, positive, life fulfilling thing
You are leaving the bad behind and pursuing the good
You are ridding your life of the negatives and replacing them with a fresh new beginning.
But moving on can also be hard.
It can be terrifying,
It can be sad,
It can be nights and nights of tears.
Months of emptiness.
A constant pit in your stomach reminding you that you’re alone.
It’s waking up in the night thinking of you.
It’s nightmares with you in them.
It’s thinking about them in everything stupid thing you do and reminding yourself to stop
Forcing your brain to not think about the one thing you want.
It’s feeling obsessive and feeling crazy.
It’s losing your mind.
But most of all,
It’s being alone.
It’s the moments you want to call but know you can’t.
The moments you stare at your phone wondering if maybe they’re thinking about you.
Maybe they’re hurting too.
It’s the maybes,
The what ifs,
It’s the mind games you have to control.
It’s the heart break you need to find a way to mend.
The aches and pains.
The open wounds you need to stitch.
The vulnerableness you’re showing to the world.
Your heart is ripped open and you just want to hide.
But you are strong.
You don’t want to look weak though walking hurts and getting up is hard.
It’s the tears in the smile.
The scream of agony in the laughter.
It’s the memories you wish you could erase.
The kisses that haunt your dreams.
You wonder what you could have done wrong.
Why this had to happen to you, why me?
But I guess there is beauty in the breakdown.
There is healing in the pain.
So take your time.
Cry until there’s nothing left.
But don’t listen to those who glamorize moving on.
Its not always this awesome beautiful phenomenon.
Don’t think you’re crazy for how you feel.
Crazy for not understanding how people can see these positive quotes and feel better.
Crazy for how long it is taking you to feel better.
Because not everyone is built that way, in fact the majority of us aren’t.
That doesn’t mean you are weak.
It means you are human and you feel things.
It means your heart got broken and you were left alone to pick up the pieces,
And no matter how hard you try to put it back together
It will never be what it was
Like a puzzle with a missing piece
When you have truly loved and lost,
There is a part of you that you will never get back.
That person has that piece, forever in their possession
But you will learn to live without it,
Learn to sleep and breath without it,
And hopefully soon you won’t even notice,
Or maybe that person will give it back to you and make it whole again,
Or someone or something will come into your life and make you forget about it.
I believe in love
But I realize the pain that comes with love.
It is scary because it can destroy you.
It is scary because it can complete you.
But it’s worth it.