DAY 4:

The worst is when you think you’re okay

You get this little glimpse of life without that person

And your heart doesn’t hurt

Or you don’t want to cry

And you smile because though you don’t feel “good”, you feel okay

You are proud of yourself

You’re making progress

The sun is shining

Your favorite song comes on

And then out of nowhere their face pops into your mind

You’re on the toilet

Or making coffee

Or walking

Or talking to someone

And then just like that all those feelings come flying at you

Then its almost hard to believe you felt “okay” just an hour ago

You feel it all over again and all you want is to be in their arms

You forget their flaws, their issues, how they hurt you

You forget all the things you have been training your mind to remember

Because the thought of being with them,

Maybe not even all of them,

Seems better then not having them at all

Then you start to think about ways of keeping them in your life

Maybe you could be friends

Maybe you could talk here and there

Maybe you’ll run into them when you’re out

Maybe

Maybe

Maybe

Then your brain slows down

And you slowly remember why you can’t do those things

Why you can’t have those things

Because this person meant everything to you

And this person hurt you

And you cannot have that person in your life

Well not now

Someday

That day just isn’t today

And its probably not tomorrow.

Or the day after that.

The heart needs time to heal

You need time to heal.

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