DAY 43:

Seems crazy how once you’ve loved everything makes sense

Yet nothing makes sense at all

The quotes and the stories suddenly come together

You finally understand the old poet’s tales

The universal obsession with love

Yet the world seems so different

As though you’re looking through a new lens

You suddenly understand peoples feelings more

You physically feel other’s emotions

As if your heart has been awakened

You’re aware of things you never were before

Finding the feeling of home in someone’s arms

Finding tranquility in a person’s laugh

You feel the anger evolved from betrayal

The confusion as to why you love this person

The vulnerability from letting someone in

The sadness from losing a best friend

I want to make sense of it all

Because I like answers

I find peace in conclusions

But I guess thats not how it always works is it?

Because that would make life too easy

I suppose the world has a history of leaving us stranded

Stranded with another mystery to solve

More thesis’s for us to form

More answers to search far and wide for

More tests to run

But thats the thing though

Not everything is supposed to make sense

We aren’t ever going to have all the answers

If we spend our whole lives trying to answer every question

To test every hypothesis

To calculate every risk

We will simply die with a mind consumed of endless questions

Questions with no answers

We will miss out on love

And loss

And life

You need to choose life

You need to live without them

You need to stop searching for answers

Trying to make sense of what they did

And how they feel

I need to choose life

I need to stop looking for you in everything I do

And everyone I meet

I need to let you go

I’m done asking questions

And I’m done looking for answers

They will come if they’re meant to

It’s time

It’s time to stop letting this heartbreak define me

It’s time to stop forcing myself upon others

It’s time to take time 

To take time to find myself again

The only mystery I need to solve is my own

And the only person I need to figure out is me

 

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